Forgiving myself and changing the choice of using pain to deal with reality

Q. I got the message from my Soul that I need to forgive myself for evil in my world, for choosing to experience pain and separation. I made the choice, so how do I now deal with reality without turning to pain?

A. There isn’t really “evil” in the world, rather there is pain and fear, and with those come loneliness. These are the culprits, the motivation behind any activity that comes out of intense emotion that are considered “evil”, which are expressed as the desire to hurt or destroy, or annihilate the world within which you live. It is different than the curiosity of the child who wants to pull the wings off a bug, which is the initial exploration of the cause and effect assessment. There is no real remorse in the earliest years of your child. Remorse comes later as you encounter the waves of shame that are supposed to produce remorse.

What you consider evil is when a person with single minded focus pursues an outcome that intends to harm someone, whether they blow up something to destroy it, or go to war, it matters not what form it takes. When there is no real thought to the consequences to your actions, that is the beginning of evil. If you look to the psychological thrillers, evil usually takes the form of something that is relentless in its pursuit, like the zombies that just keep coming after you. No matter what you do, they just bounce back and continue their pursuit. But it isn’t really evil.

Pain is separation from and a longing for, a feeling I am all alone and what does it matter anyway. And the fear that has become dread, that threat that you will be annihilated, that you will be destroyed, that you will literally be obliterated and on longer exist. You fear a threat to your very existence. Pain was a choice by humanity, but what is humanity but a collection of individuals. Each individual had to make a choice and out of that, momentum occurred. So as each individual chooses something new, it doesn’t take all of you to change the balance, to change the reality, it only takes some of you. And so as you begin with your choice, it results in less pain in your world. You and others who are working with Soul make that choice as well, not to choose pain as a road to learn lessons, but rather to learn through other means. For there was a luminous intent in the choice that was made– it was to learn as quickly as possible about reality so you that could master it. And there was this discussion about whether you should include everything in the equation… shouldn’t you make it as easy as possible to get the lessons as quickly as possible, to incorporate all choices? So there was a rationale behind the choice, but there wasn’t an understanding yet about resonance, that in those lower resonances it is actually harder and it takes longer, and because you are now in a physical reality that has time as an important component of reality, when there was no understanding of time as a critical component, it seemed the obvious choice.

Just like if you were to touch your hand to a flame, you would quickly learn not to do that. There was the thought that if I allow myself to have some pain, won’t it show me not to do that? But with pain, you can lose pieces of Soul. You don’t have to, but it was something that occurred along the way. It wasn’t that the pain was so bad, but rather when the pain was so great the decision was made to break off pieces of soul to deal with the pain- that is where the mistake came, and that is what needs to be forgiven. That you allowed yourself to devalue yourself, to diminish your Soul.

It is not your Soul who is at all affected. It is you in the physical plane that is affected, for your Soul is eternal, your Soul is whole and complete regardless of what you do in this lifetime. When you die to this life and you ascend so to speak, you transcend physical space and time and return to source. You are coming home to your Soul and God/Goddess, absolutely so, and what you return to is not diminished in any way. There is no Soul that was broken up in pieces, or fragmented, rather it is the You in this physical incarnation that is fragmented, that has lost access to aspects of self through choice by locking it away. You know about the journey of the Shadow, as you go through life you decide, “I don’t want to deal with it in this life. It seems too painful,” or “I don’t think I am up to this challenge.” I put that piece in my Shadow to save that quality of mine that I think I don’t have, or that got hurt in the process, whether it is will, or love, courage, confidence, there are many different aspects of self that can be damaged, and so you simply put those aspects away into your Shadow until a later time when you Shadow brings it back to you to review. They remind you of that incident when you decided courage was bad, it got you beat up or made you say things you regretted later, and so you dropped it, but you need it now. Your shadow brings it back to you to reclaim it. You need it. That is the time of the double, when the Light Shadow holds all those pieces, the connectedness to the divine, the knowing you are worth loving, all of that is coming to the forefront now. Anything you denied yourself along the way has to be reclaimed from the Dark and Light Shadow as you become more of who you truly are. And in the end you will be more, and you will be conscious of choice. As you become conscious of choice today, decide whether to continue to use pain as a vehicle for your growth, or will you seek better ways, more elegant ways? That is a beautiful way of explaining how you retrieve something from your Shadow self, to make that quality available to you. We will work with you on integrating the choice you have made. There is nothing to do other than to allow it to be real that a new choice has been made, and with that you can be more present to Soul. You can begin to see the effects of the choice that you have made.